Vocabulary

April 25, 2013 in lau0601, what should be by lau0601

Tiffany could never understand why people chewed on the ends of their pens. Did it help their thought process? Because if it did, then, well, maybe she could try it this once.

She always had trouble when writing birthday cards. As someone who valued symmetry and color schemes and aesthetics, it was always a struggle to make cards turn out the way she wanted them to. But she liked doing it, liked it a lot, because sometimes they did turn out how she envisioned them to, and that was satisfying.

It was fun to think up inventive – at least, she hoped they were inventive – ways to surprise the receiver. Pop-ups, pictures of their favorite movie stars, a piece of candy: she liked to slip these in whenever she could, if only to hear that gasp of delight when the card was handed over. She liked to make people happy.

But there was this one part that she had trouble with. Always had trouble with. It was the writing that had to go in the card, because, well, it was hard to write sincerely. Tiffany wanted to be sincere, for birthdays especially. She wanted to say something honest and real, something that captured the entirety of the feelings she felt towards the other person. Something that the receiver would read and smile at because of the sincerity it conveyed.

It was hard, though. How did one even begin to write something that heartfelt? Sometimes Tiffany cheated, and she stuck more pictures on than necessary so she could write less. Then she could write her best and, well, put in smiley faces to show her love when there was space left over. It wasn’t any less sincere; it was sincere because that way she didn’t have to write a lot of random stuff she didn’t even really believe in.

But this time, as she stared at the card in front of her, she was stumped. It was blank, completely blank. No pictures, no smiley faces, no colors. Just “Happy Birthday” written in black on the front, against the white background. It was hard, but she wanted it this way. She wanted to do it properly, properly, this time.

Dear Yuri,

She paused. Um, now what? Yuri. Yuri. What came to mind when she thought of Yuri? Her tan, her crazy laugh, her stupid habit of falling over in her sleep, her sweet little words of encouragement, the occasional vulnerable tears, the way she would always wait, her fascination with sunglasses, the intensity of her dedication to the things she loved.

Tiffany put her pen down.

How. How was she to put all that down, coherently, and onto this card? She kind of regretted buying such a small card now, but it couldn’t be helped. Well then, what to write first?

She uncapped her pen, then twirled it, then put it down. Then she picked it up again, tapped the table with it and finally wrote.

Happy Birthday!

Um, now to talk about her ridiculous antics. Wait, no, it was better to start off serious and talk about her personality first. Or, well, she actually really wanted to also put in a snippet about their random conversations about sandals. Wait.

Tiffany groaned. This was impossible. There just wasn’t enough space on this stupid card to fit everything she wanted to say. But then again, perhaps, perhaps even if she had the space, it wouldn’t matter.

It still wouldn’t be enough because there weren’t enough words. How do you describe the way someone makes you feel when you look at them and you want to smile and cry and laugh and eat cookies and and and skydive at the same time? What word would you use to describe the memories of a decade, memories that taught you and hurt you and picked you up and made you who you are?

Was there even such a word? Words?

This was impossible, but maybe…

I want to thank you

Tiffany stopped. Yes, that seemed about right.

I want to thank you, and

And?

I want to thank you, and I love you.

Another pause, then a click as the pen was capped. Tiffany looked at the words, read them over once, twice, compared them to Yuri. Yuri.

Yes, that was about right.

 

I blame Taeyeon for this drabble: Thank You Thank You