a/n: I missed writing angst. 🙂
When Tiffany told Taeyeon that she didn’t want her kisses anymore—that she didn’t want anything to do with her anymore—she didn’t know that the other girl would take them seriously. She knew that her words had hurt her, but she was angry and broken and everything was just too much to take in at that moment, so she did the only thing she thought was right—she broke up with her.
That was roughly four months ago, and Tiffany finally realized how wrong it was to end everything just like that. She loved her, still do, but it was only now that she had come to see how Taeyeon loved her more than she did, because it was the only reason why the other girl had honoured her decision without a single peep aside from endless streams of silent tears, why the other girl had steered clear away from her and chose to be a loner because they belonged to the same circle of friends and the other didn’t want her to be alone instead, and why the other girl had been giving nothing but sad smiles to everyone whom she used to give wide grins to.
The Taeyeon now was nothing like the girl she had fallen in love with before, but partly she was to blame. She broke her beyond repair, ripped her heart out from her chest before crushing it in her hands, squeezing until it was reduced to nothing.
It was kind of selfish but Tiffany wanted her back, so badly, although she wasn’t sure if Taeyeon would still want her after everything she had done. But when the other girl had somehow appeared in front of her door reeking of alcohol and sweat and cigarette smoke and something that solely belonged to her that Tiffany genuinely missed, she hoped deep inside her heart that the other girl loved her still.
She caught her when Taeyeon stumbled in inside her apartment and held onto her tightly when Taeyeon apologized profusely for being there and for being drunk and for missing her and for loving her still in spite of everything, and it was a little sadistic, Tiffany thought, but hearing Taeyeon stuttering and tripping on her words in the middle of her drunken stupor like she was confessing to her for the first time brought happiness to her heart.
Tiffany wiped Taeyeon’s face with a damped cloth when she had laid her down on the sofa, and she couldn’t tell when it happened but she found herself crying silently as the drunken girl quietly stared up at her the whole time.
The girl said nothing, but her sad eyes were enough to make Tiffany feel all the guilt and all the stupidity that she let herself drown into for the past few months, and when Taeyeon quietly lifted her own hand to press the pads of her index and middle fingers on her lips before pressing it gently on Tiffany’s quivering ones, she finally lost it.
I’m sorry. I love you. Please take me back.
Tiffany sobbed openly as she watched Taeyeon fall into drunken unconsciousness after those words, lamenting over the love that she wasn’t sure she still deserved.