Let Me Love You

April 4, 2013 in rahmyun, The Lyric Suite by rahmyun

It was one of those days.

Tiffany sat down, letting her tray of food fall onto the table with a thump. Her usually cheerful eyes were stormy, her normally upturned lips pulled into a disdainful frown.

These types of days didn’t come very often, but when they did, they came with a vengeance.

Following her, Taeyeon glanced in the direction Tiffany was pointedly ignoring, gaze resting on the laughing guy, new girlfriend clinging onto his arm. She took a seat beside her fuming friend, deliberately sitting on the other side to redirect her attention.

“Can you believe him?” Tiffany furiously whispered to her, spearing spinach leaves with a fork. “It’s been a week since we broke up, and he’s already found a new thing to parade around!”

In a conversational tone, Taeyeon replied, “No matter how much you dislike her, she’s still a person, not a thing. Besides, didn’t you break up with him?” She took a bite of food, only half-tasting it as her mind searched for ways to diffuse the ticking bomb that had become Tiffany Hwang.

“Yes, because he’s a jerk and just wants a pretty girlfriend to show off to all of his jerk friends. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not jealous. I pity that stupid girl,” she spat before biting into a crouton with a loud crunch.

Taeyeon patted her arm. “Everyone has to make their own mistakes in order to learn. Just be glad you were smart enough to recognize him for what he was before anything bad happened,” she suggested.

With a sigh, Tiffany nodded, anger deflating a little. “I know I’m better off without him. I just… I want to be happy, you know? I wish somehow I could know for sure that there’s a guy out there for me, someone I can share my whole life with, someone…” She paused. “Someone who treats me the way you treat me.”

Taeyeon kept her eyes on her lunch as she remarked, “I’m your best friend. No one is supposed to treat you the way I do.”

“Oh, you know what I mean,” Tiffany responded, waving her fork in the air dismissively. “You’re so amazingly nice and caring, not to mention full of good advice. If you were a guy, you’d have all the girls in school chasing after you, especially with that cute baby face of yours.”

“And then there’s you, who doesn’t need a sex change to be a catch.” She knew her words were uncalled for, but she was too bitter to attempt amending them. Instead, she concentrated on eating, finally recognizing her meal as a slightly bland version of bibimbap.

“TaeTae, you’ll find someone. I know you will. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a girlfriend.”

Shaking her head, Taeyeon smiled weakly. “Thanks, but don’t keep your hopes up.”

Tiffany gave her a sideways glance. “You know, I’ve never asked because I want to respect your privacy, but how come you’ve never had a boyfriend?”

With a nonchalant shrug, the shorter girl answered, “Haven’t met the right guy.” And never will, she added, sighing to herself.

“No one?” persisted Tiffany. “I think you just haven’t explored enough yet. I have a lot of nice guy friends; I could introduce you to some.”

The abrupt inquisition was starting to get on Taeyeon’s nerves. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. You just focus on finding your Mr. Right, okay?” Her words came out sharper than she intended.

Tiffany bit her lip. “Okay. Sorry,” she mumbled and turned away to poke at her food once more.

Hearing the remorse in her friend’s voice, Taeyeon mustered a smile and placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’m not mad at you, Fany-ah. I’m fine with my single status. I just don’t like seeing you unhappy, and sometimes I—”

“And sometimes you what?” asked Tiffany, turning to look at her.

Cheeks red, Taeyeon shook her head. “Nothing. Never mind.” She glanced down at her food, then shot a mischievous grin at Tiffany.

Dipping her spoon into her bibimbap, Taeyeon commented, “You should probably hurry up and eat your salad because…last one to finish buys dessert!”

“Yah!” exclaimed Tiffany as the shorter girl started wolfing down her meal. She gave one last sideways look at Taeyeon before quickly resuming her own lunch.

___________________

“Can I ask you a random question?” She asked into the quiet of their dorm room.

Her roommate didn’t bother looking up. “Depends on what it is.”

“Do you know why Taeyeon’s never had a boyfriend?”

Only the slight pause in her pen’s movement indicated the girl had heard the question. “…Why don’t you ask her?”

“I did ask her! She gave me the whole ‘haven’t met the right guy yet’ excuse.”

“Why do you think it’s an excuse?”

“Of course it’s an excuse, Sunny,” she scoffed. “What is she afraid of? She’s like perfect girlfriend material. She just has to try, and I’m sure guys will be lining up in no time to ask her out. Anyone would be lucky to be with her.”

“…What makes you think no one’s asked her out?” asked Sunny as she paused her scribbling and leaned forward to glance at her textbook.

“I… What?” Tiffany slammed a hand on the page Sunny was looking at, and the girl finally looked up at her. “She’s been asked out before? Why didn’t she tell me?!”

“Maybe she didn’t think it was important enough for you to know,” her roommate answered, shrugging.

“I’m her best friend! Why wouldn’t she tell me if some guy asked her out?”

Sunny put her pen down and laced her fingers together. “Maybe because she didn’t see any future with them, so it wasn’t worth telling you. Look, it’s her life. Let her live it the way she wants.”

“But if she doesn’t find someone, she’s going to be alone and miserable for the rest of her life!” exclaimed Tiffany, throwing her hands into the air in exasperation.

Raising an eyebrow, Sunny remarked, “Overdramatic much? Besides, how do you know she hasn’t found someone already?”

Tiffany froze, turning her head to stare at her roommate in confusion. “…but, you said…”

With a sigh, she picked her pen up again, returning to her work. “Think about it, Fany-ah.”

___________________

“Where are you, TaeTae?” Tiffany muttered under her breath, checking her phone again.

Even though Taeyeon had one less class than she did, the girl would always wait so that they could go home together. Normally, she was right outside the classroom when Tiffany walked out, but today, she was nowhere to be found.

Wandering through the emptying hallways, Tiffany chewed on her lip, racking her brain for possible places Taeyeon could be. The library? No, what would she do there, sleep? Not her car because she knows I wouldn’t be able to find it without her help. Where else is there…

Faint singing broke through her musing, and she glanced up to realize she had unknowingly strayed into the music wing.

Of course! She literally smacked herself in the head, wincing a little at the pain and her stupidity. Didn’t she mention she was practicing a cover of something?

Following the sound, Tiffany found the right room and peeked through the narrow pane of glass set in the door. She was right; there was Taeyeon, eyes closed with an earbud perched in her left ear and her music player tucked into a back pocket.

It was only after she gently pulled the door open and stepped inside the room that Tiffany recognized the song.

 

I can see the pain behind your eyes

It’s been there for quite a while

I just wanna be the one to remind you what it is to smile

I would like to show you what true love can really do

Girl let me love you

And I will love you

Until you learn to love yourself

Girl let me love you

And all your trouble

Don’t be afraid, girl let me—

 

The forgotten door slipped from her fingers to slam close behind her, and she winced as the startled singer’s eyes shot open.

Wide eyes met hers as Taeyeon pulled the earbud out. “Tiffany! I—what are you doing here?” She glanced up at the wall clock, finally seeing what time it was.

Ignoring the question, Tiffany walked further into the room towards Taeyeon. Something she had mulled over, day after day since her conversation with her roommate, had surged to the front of her mind when she heard Taeyeon’s song.

“I didn’t know you were attempting English songs. You always said you wouldn’t sing them until your pronunciation was good enough,” she remarked.

Taeyeon moved away from her and towards her backpack where it sat against a wall and zipped her music player inside. “The melody was interesting, so I wanted to try it once,” she deadpanned.

“It sounded like you’ve sang it more than once though,” persisted Tiffany, moving to stand behind the older girl.

Slowly turning, Taeyeon leaned against the wall, crossing her arms. She was trapped; there was nothing she could do but answer the queries tossed at her.

“Like I said, it’s an interesting melody. I only kept singing it because I wanted to get it right.”

“Do you know it well enough to sing harmony?”

Taken aback by the question, she nodded, confusion drawing her brows together.

Dropping her bag to the floor, Tiffany hummed a little to remember the song, smiling at Taeyeon before launching into the first verse.

 

Much as you blame yourself, you can’t be blamed for the way that you feel

Had no example of a love that was even remotely real

How can you understand something that you never had?

Ooh, baby, if you let me, I can help you out with all of that

 

As if cued by an invisible conductor, Taeyeon let her voice join Tiffany’s, the notes and words in perfect unison.

 

Girl let me love you

And I will love you

Until you learn to love yourself

Girl let me love you

And all your trouble

Don’t be afraid, girl, let me help

Girl let me love you

And I will love you

Until you learn to love yourself

Girl let me love you

A heart of numbness gets brought to life

I’ll take you there

 

The soaring vocals drifted into silence, Taeyeon allowing her harmony to fade beneath Tiffany’s melody.

Before Taeyeon could turn away, Tiffany reached out and caught her hand. “Taeyeon-ah…”

“How long have you known?” Her question was quiet as she looked down at the floor, hand limp in Tiffany’s hold.

“A few weeks.” The taller girl smiled ruefully. “I’m sorry that I was so blind, I—”

“Why now?”

Taeyeon’s dead voice dropped Tiffany’s heart into her stomach. “I—what do you mean, ‘why now’?”

The downcast eyes suddenly snapped up to hers, and Tiffany was surprised at the anger smoldering behind them.

“Is it pity then? Am I that pathetic?” demanded Taeyeon. Biting her lip, she pulled her hand away, clenching it into a fist at her side.

“What? No! Of course not! Why would you even think that?” She moved forward only to find herself forcing the other girl back a step.

“Why else would you be doing this?” Taeyeon crossed her arms, lips pressed into a thin line. “Don’t force yourself. It’s not worth it.”

Tiffany quickly closed the gap between them, grabbing Taeyeon by the shoulders. “I’m not forcing myself, okay?” Her pleading gaze caught Taeyeon’s hard stare, and Tiffany had to take a deep breath, dropping her hands before continuing.

“It took me so long to realize that every time I broke up with a guy, it was because he couldn’t compare to you. You spoiled me, TaeTae. You were always there no matter what, and I’m sorry I made you wait for so long—”

A finger on her lips made her stop, and she forced herself to resist the urge to kiss it.

“No, you’re the one who spoiled me, Fany-ah,” murmured Taeyeon, eyes soft now. “How could I have fallen for anyone else with you always by my side?” She moved her hand to tuck a stray strand of hair away, and Tiffany felt her eyes flutter close, leaning into Taeyeon’s touch.

“Fany-ah.”

She could feel Taeyeon’s breath tickling her cheek as she answered, “Hmm?”

Across her forehead swept a feathery kiss, and Tiffany opened her eyes to see Taeyeon’s apologetic smile.

“As much as I hate to ruin this moment, your mom is going to kill me if I don’t get you back home in the next five minutes,” the older girl explained, stepping back to pick up her bag.

“…Mood killer,” grumbled Tiffany, mirroring her movements.

Laughing, Taeyeon entwined her fingers with Tiffany’s and guided her towards the door. “Well, there’s always tomorrow, and the day after. And then there’s the weekend…” She trailed off, the hanging thought suggestive as she grinned.

“We’ve been together for less than five minutes, and you’re already turning into a pervert?” sighed Tiffany, shaking her head. “What have I gotten myself into…”

“What can I say, you bring out the best in me,” she replied with a chuckle, squeezing her hand.

Tiffany pretended to gag. “So cheesy, TaeTae.”

“Just for you, baby.” Taeyeon attempted a wink, and Tiffany burst out laughing, the bright sound still lingering in the air after the door swung shut behind them.

 

 

Inspired by and includes lyrics from “Let Me Love You” by Ne-Yo. No copyright infringement intended.