Kiss the Shotglass pt9

July 21, 2013 in Kiss the Shotglass, Nelly by nelly

*incredibly apologetic but totally expected disclaimer that I didn’t have time to proofread before post*

When Taeyeon woke up, she was immediately aware of a few things. First, that her head throbbed so hard she could barely open her eyes. Second, that the pillow was cold and slightly damp where she’d slept against it. Third, that she was still wearing the clothes that she’d come home in last night.

She groaned, trying to block the light out with one hand and throwing the covers back with the other. Tried to swing her legs over and get up. Too fast. Her head spun and her vision blurred as she tried to stay upright. She sat back down with a dull thump, her left palm pressed against her aching forehead.

Why the hell does my head hurt like this?

It took a moment for Taeyeon to remember what had happened last night. The key. The screaming. The crying. Falling asleep. Waking in the middle of the night, wandering out into the kitchen, returning to bed with the mickey of Grey Goose.

Taeyeon bowed her head and took an exhausted breath. She hadn’t planned on it happening that way. She hadn’t planned on it happening at all. She’d planned on taking the key, using the basement as long as they’d need, and leaving the moment another rehearsal space opened up. Being civil with Tiffany, being polite.

But Tiffany saying those simple words, making that simple apology, it had destroyed Taeyeon’s plan. Ripped it in half and shredded the pieces. There was no more dancing around the issue, no more pretending they didn’t remember what had happened in the past. And for Taeyeon, no more pretending that her old wounds had healed up.

She sighed again. Almost on reflex she scratched her back where the name was inked under one of the wings. Part of her had hoped, when she’d seen Tiffany again after all those years, that Tiffany had come back to make things right. Part of her had hoped for an apology. Some sort of catharsis. Then Taeyeon would listen, nod, accept the apology, and move on with her life.

But when Tiffany had apologized last night, there was no catharsis. No healing. All Taeyeon had felt was a cold pain in her chest. Even thinking about it now brought the taste of bile to the back of her throat.

Tiffany. Miyoung.

Taeyeon barely made it to the toilet bowl before she threw up.

The next time she woke up she was back in bed, this time in an old tshirt and loose sweats. Jessica was sitting beside her on the bed, reading a magazine. When she heard Taeyeon stir she put down the magazine and turned to Taeyeon, stroking her hair softly and leaning down to kiss her on the forehead.

“Stay in bed, okay? I’ll bring you some of the soup I made.” Jessica made to move out of bed, but Taeyeon caught her wrist.

“No. Just…can you stay? I don’t want you to go.” Jessica smiled and let Taeyeon pull her back in. She got under the covers and let Taeyeon snuggle herself into Jessica, fitting her head under the crook of Jessica’s chin. Her lips pressed against Jessica’s neck so she could feel the vibrations the words made. Her voice was quiet, already falling back to sleep again. “Just stay here. Don’t go…please…stay…”

Taeyeon blinked her eyes open. The headache was gone, but so was most of the daylight. Jessica was still in bed with her, turned slightly away to face the other wall. Taeyeon watched her back rise and fall slowly to the rhythm of her breathing. She leaned in to kiss Jessica’s shoulder, arms wrapping around her waist.

Jessica’s voice was sleepy, “Do you feel better?”

Taeyeon nodded into Jessica’s shoulder. “Thank you.” She pressed another kiss to her shoulder blade, nuzzling her nose into the blonde hair. Jessica turned around in Taeyeon’s arms, pressed a soft kiss to her lips. Taeyeon pulled away and looked down into Jessica’s dark brown eyes. This was what she had been looking for all along. Someone who would find her when she was lost. Someone who would stay. Jessica was all of that. Jessica knew when to joke around, how to pull at her strings. But Jessica was also there when she needed her. Knew when to stand her ground, knew when to give it. Jessica was perfect for her. She was everything that Tiffany wasn’t.

This is what I want. Not the screaming, the crying, the pain. This is what I want. This makes me happy. I want this. She didn’t know who she was trying to convince.

“Do you remember what you were dreaming about while you were sleeping earlier?”

Taeyeon shook her head, leaning in for another kiss. “Nope. Slept like a brick.” She pulled back. “Why?”

Jessica smiled back wryly and shook her head. “Nevermind.” She wrinkled her nose. “Your breath stinks.”

Taeyeon laughed and exhaled full into Jessica’s face. Jessica squealed and jumped out of the bed, trying to escape Taeyeon who was chasing behind her. She got so caught up in the game that by the time she’d succeeded in momentarily pinning a squirming and laughing Jessica to the fridge, she’d forgotten to ask Jessica why she’d asked about her dreams.

They were pulled out of their game of cat and mouse by the doorbell.

Taeyeon released Jessica’s wrists and scratched her head. “That’s weird. No one ever rings the doorbell.”

Taeyeon grabbed a stick of gum from the counter and popped it in her mouth before going to answer the door. Jessica followed behind her. She unlocked the safety chain and pulled the door slightly ajar.

“…Sooyoung?”

So when I first started this I definitely had end game pairings. But now I’m pretty much as unsure about the ending as you guys might be haha. Anyhow, love to know what you guys thought about the update!