Kiss the Shotglass pt5

June 3, 2013 in Kiss the Shotglass, Nelly by nelly

*Totally expected and by now boring disclaimer/apology that I have not edited or proofread this before post.*


An awkward silence hung in the air.

Taeyeon let the aftertaste of her words sink into the back of her tongue. They didn’t have as much venom as the last time she’d said them. A couple of years ago, those words had felt like millions of needles stabbing into her body, draining away her life. Now she only felt the dull throb of her blood pulsing out through the old wounds.

She sat in her chair stone still. Let Yuri and Yoona jump onto the stage and pull the girl off. Open the side door and push her out. Cuss her out.

As soon as the door shut behind her, she felt life seep back into the room. Into her body. She blinked, feeling suddenly guilty that she’d made her bandmates deal with the girl by themselves. They’d been hurt by her too. Not like she had, but they’d been hurt too. She opened her mouth to apologize but Yuri, already returning to their table, stopped her before she could get a word out.

“We’re family. Family don’t need to apologize to each other.”

Taeyeon nodded, grateful. Yuri grabbed the chair back and flipped it around, straddling the seat. Yoona hopped up onto the small circular table, leaning back on her hands.

A more comfortable silence settled over them this time until Yoona piped up, “So can we call Seohyun now?” Yuri perked up too, nodding her head rapidly, big smirk on her face.

Taeyeon laughed, passing them the clipboard with Seohyun’s number on it.


They started rehearsing a couple days later. Taeyeon could feel her anxiety about the auditions melting away as they started warming up.

Seohyun was a natural fit for them. Her flow fit perfectly in with theirs. And when Taeyeon handed her the huge binder full of their songs that she’d need to learn at least the first half before their next gig, she just skimmed through the pages and smiled, “You got it, boss.”

They were practicing in the back of an old empty warehouse. The owner liked to rent it out on weekends to hold small underground concerts for his favourite bands. And he liked their sound, so he’d agreed to let them practice there on weekdays. It was a perfect deal; not only did they have a secluded place to practice, but they were guaranteed at least one solid gig when they finished their new setlist.

Taeyeon looked around at the dark warehouse. Two years ago, she never would have thought that they’d be able to get such a prime rehearsal location. But three years ago, she thought with a sigh, by this time they already should have been signed to a major label. She shook off the thought. It wouldn’t help to dwell on that anymore.

She linked her fingers behind her back, rolling her shoulders back to crack her back. Hopped up and down a little as she stepped up behind the mic.

Hyoyeon counted them in. Taeyeon closed her eyes and let the music take control.


Taeyeon wasn’t really sure why they’d bothered to buy a couch for their place at all. They all always ended up lying on the floor anyways. She felt Hyoyeon lay down close to her, head resting on her stomach. They listened to the dull hum of the air conditioning. Taeyeon scratched her side where her shirt had ridden up and Hyoyeon’s hair was tickling her.

“Do you want to talk about it?”
“There’s not much to say.”
“She changed her name?”
“Or used a fake one, yeah.”
“…She’s a bitch.”
Taeyeon sighed, “No, she’s not.” She’d like to think that she wouldn’t have done the same thing if she’d been in Miyoung’s position. But sometimes she doubted herself.

Hyoyeon grunted, “Fine. Then I’m hungry. And hunger is a bitch.”

Taeyeon laughed. She knew it was just Hyoyeon’s way of showing her support. “Come on then, let’s get the others and go grab some food.”

Hyoyeon sat back up and shook her head as she grabbed her jacket off the floor beside her, “Better not. I walked by their room 15 minutes ago and I could hear the headboard.”

She couldn’t help but smile to herself as she followed Hyoyeon out the front door, making sure to slam it loud in hopes of startling the pair still in the house. Her family was small. A little unconventional. And technically kind of incestuous. But Taeyeon knew that she wouldn’t have traded it for all the promises of fame and fortune in the world.


Taeyeon got a text late that night. She held the screen close to her face so that the light wouldn’t wake Jessica, whose back was pressed up against Taeyeon’s side.

[I hope you didn’t change your number. It’s Miyoung. Can we talk?]

She stared at the screen for a few moments. She’d deleted her from her contact book, but she still knew that number by heart. Taeyeon’s thumb hovered over the screen, hesitating above the keyboard. She lost track of time, just staring at the digits on her screen. Then, finally, she pressed the delete button and set the phone back down on the bedside table. She closed her eyes and rolled over, waiting for sleep to come.


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